i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
