Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
