Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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