Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Blood and glitter go together right?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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