was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
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