Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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