You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
