and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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