it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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