Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
How's work?
Spinning.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
