no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
