i need an iv and a liver transplant
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
