Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
