they need to just BURY HIM!
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
