the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
