I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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