Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
