I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
