dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
