Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize