If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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