I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
