Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
