I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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