she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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