Little spoons don't ask big questions
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
