Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I didn't notice because vodka
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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