But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize