In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize