Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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