Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
