um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
