I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I think my moral compass just broke
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
