i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You made out with two different species that night
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
