the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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