I am in a vortex of obligation.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at about main and main street
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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