I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I want to fling myself into the sun
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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