i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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