so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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