dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
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