guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
