pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Found your dick twin last night
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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