I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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