Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
