How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
