yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
