Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
