you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize