I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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