I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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