he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
