So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
