Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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